| Age | Sources and Pages | Code Number | Quotations | Relevant Key Words, Phrases and Their Code Numbers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | SS 34 -35 |
39-4-1 | I must admit, Mother, my happy disposition completely changed after Mamma's death. I, once so full of life, became timid and retiring, sensitive to an excessive degree. One look was enough to reduce me to tears, and the only way I was content was to be left alone completely. I could not bear the company of strangers and found my joy only within the intimacy of the family. |
38-4-2 (Disposition) |
| 5 | SS 35. |
39-5-1 | And still I continued to be surrounded with the most delicate tenderness. Our Father's very affectionate heart seemed to be enriched now with a truly maternal love! You and Marie, Mother, were you not the most tender and selfless of mothers? Ah! if God had not showered His beneficent rays upon His little flower, she could never have accustomed herself to earth, for she was too weak to stand up against the rains and the storms. She needed warmth, a gentle dew, and the springtime breezes. Never were these lacking. Jesus had her find them beneath the snow of trial! |
2-5-1 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 8-5-1 (Weakness, Frailty) |
| 5 | SS 36. |
39-5-2 | In the morning you(note: Pauline) used to come to me and ask me if I had raised my heart to God, and then you dressed me. While dressing me you spoke about Him and afterwards we knelt down and said our prayers together…. |
5-5-1 (Prayer, Meditation, Contemplation) |
| 6 | SS 40. |
39-6-1 | Oh! dear Mother, with what care you prepared me for my first confession, telling me it was not to a man but to God I was about to tell my sins; I was very much convinced of this truth. |
26-6-1 (Confession), 27-6-1 (Sinners, Sins) |
| 6 | SS 43 -44. |
39-6-2 | …Had I not been so well guided, I would have been very nervous, whereas now it is difficult to frighten me. I wonder at times how you were able to raise me with so much love and tenderness without spoiling me, for it's true you never allowed an imperfection to pass, you never scolded me without a reason, and you never went back on something once you made a decision. I knew this so well, I wouldn't have been able nor would I have wanted to do anything you had forbidden. |
26-6-1 (Confession), 27-6-1 (Sinners, Sins) |
| 6~ | SS 44 -45. |
39-6-3 | It was Pauline, too, who received all my intimate confidences and cleared up all my doubts. Once I was surprised that God didn't give equal glory to all the Elect in heaven, and I was afraid all would not be perfectly happy. Then Pauline told me to fetch Papa's large tumbler and set it alongside my thimble and filled both to the brim with water. She asked me which one was fuller. I told her each was as full as the other and that it was impossible to put in more water than they could contain. My dear Mother helped me understand that in heaven God will grant His Elect as much glory as they can take, the last having nothing to envy in the first. And it was in this way that you brought the most sublime mysteries down to my level of understanding and were able to give my soul the nourishment it needed. |
25-6-1 (Glory) |
| 6~7 | SS 48 -49. |
39-6-4 |
In the evening at that moment when the sun seems to bathe itself in the
immensity of the waves, leaving a luminous trail behind, I went and sat
down on a huge rock with Pauline. Then I recalled the touching story of
the “Golden Trail.” I contemplated this luminous trail for a long time.
It was to me the image of God's grace shedding its light across the path
the little white-sailed vessel had to travel.
|
17-6-2 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 24-6-2 (Mercy of God, Graces) |
| 7 | SS 57. |
39-7-1 |
One evening, I heard you say that from the time one received one's
First Communion, one had to commence living a new life, and
I
immediately made the resolution not to wait for that day but to commence
the very same time as Celine. Never had I felt I loved her as much as
I did during her three-day retreat; for the first time in my life, I
was separated from her and I didn't sleep in her bed. The first day,
forgetting she was not going to return, I kept a small bunch of cherries
which Papa had brought me in order to eat them with her. When I didn't
see her returning home I was really sad. Papa consoled me by saying he
would take me the next day to the Abbey to see my Celine and that I would
give her another bunch of cherries! The day of Celine's First Communion left me with an impression similar to my own First Communion. When awakening in the morning all alone in the big bed, I felt inundated with joy.“It's today! The great day has arrived.” I repeated this over and over again. It seemed it was I who was going to make my First Communion. I believe I received great graces that day and I consider it one of the most beautiful in my life. |
18-7-1 (Holy Communion), 24-7-1 (Mercy of God, Graces), |
| 9 | SS 57 -58. |
39-9-1 | …This was no doubt not said seriously, but little Therese had taken it seriously; and how she suffered when she heard her dear Pauline speaking one day to Marie about her coming entrance into Carmel. I didn't know what Carmel was, but I understood that Pauline was going to leave me to enter a convent. I understood, too, she would not wait for me and I was about to lose my second Mother! Ah! how can I express the anguish of my heart! In one instant, I understood what life was; until then, I had never seen it so sad; but it appeared to me in all its reality, and I saw it was nothing but a continual suffering and separation. I shed bitter tears because I did not yet understand the joy of sacrifice. I was weak, so weak that I consider it a great grace to have been able to support a trial which seemed to be far above my strength! |
2-9-1 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) 8-9-1 (Weakness, Frailty), 23-9-1 (The Joy of Sufferings), 24-9-1 (Mercy of God, Grace) |
| 9 | SS 58. |
39-9-2 | I shall always remember, dear Mother, with what tenderness you consoled me. Then you explained the life of Carmel to me and it seemed so beautiful! When thinking over all you had said, I felt that Carmel was the desert where God wanted me to go also to hide myself. I felt this with so much force that there wasn't the least doubt in my heart; it was not the dream of a child led astray but the certitude of a divine call; I wanted to go to Carmel not for Pauline's sake but for Jesus alone. I was thinking very much about things which words could not express but which left a great peace in my soul. |
28-9-1 (Peace) |
| 9 | SS 59 -60. |
39-9-3 | …I readily admit that it should not have been as great, since I had the hope of finding you again in Carmel; but my soul was FAR from being mature, and I was to pass through many crucibles of suffering before attaining the end I so much desired. October 2[note:1882] was the day set for my return to the Abbey, and I had to go there in spite of my sadness. In the afternoon, Aunt came to get us to go to Carmel and I saw my Pauline behind the grille. Ah! how I suffered from this visit to Carmel! Since I am writing the story of my soul, I must tell my dear Mother everything, and I admit that the sufferings which preceded your entrance were nothing in comparison with those which followed it. Every Thursday we went as a family to Carmel and I, accustomed to talk heart to heart with Pauline, obtained with great trouble two or three minutes at the end of the visit. It is understood, of course, that I spent them in crying and left with a broken heart. I didn't understand that it was through consideration for Aunt that you were directing your words to Jeanne and Marie instead of speaking to your little girls. I didn't understand and I said in the depths of my heart:”Pauline is lost to me!” It is surprising to see how much my mind developed in the midst of suffering; it developed to such a degree that it wasn't long before I became sick. |
2-9-2 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 9 | SS 71. |
39-9-4 | I forgot several details of my childhood before your entrance into Carmel; for instance, I haven't spoken about my love for pictures and reading. And still, dear Mother, I owe to the beautiful pictures you gave me as rewards, one of the sweetest joys and strongest impressions which aided me in the practice of virtue. I was forgetting to say anything about the hours I spent looking at them. The little flower of the Divine Prisoner, for example, said so many things to me that I became deeply recollected. Seeing that the name of Pauline was written under the little flower, I wanted Therese's name to be written there also and I offered myself to Jesus as His little flower. | |
| 9? | GCI 150, Nov. 1882, (?) LC4: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-9-5 | …Yes, gather always these hidden little flowers about which we used to speak so much in the past!… |
2-9-3 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 3-9-1 (Silence, Hidden) |
| 9~10 | GCI 157, Dec. 1882 or Jan. 1883, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-9-6 | …I know nothing, nothing but one thing, we must love God more and more…. |
17-9-1 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 10 | SS 64. |
39-10-1 | My greatest consolation when I was sick was to receive a letter from Pauline. I read and re-read it until I knew it by heart. Once, dear Mother, you sent me an hour-glass and one of my dolls dressed as a Carmelite; it was impossible for me to express my joy. Uncle wasn't too happy, and said that instead of making me think of Carmel, it would be better to remove it from my mind. I am quite convinced, on the contrary, that the thoughts of one day becoming a Carmelite made me live. |
29-10-1 (Consolation) |
| 10 | GCI 170, Begin -ning of May (?), 1883, LC 12: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus |
39-10-2 | Little Benjamin, everybody loves you, but above us there is a Heart that surpasses us in its tenderness, it is the Heart of the Holy Child Jesus!… Oh! how He constantly looks lovingly at His little Therese! How He smiles at her … how He blesses her. | |
| 11 | SS 73 -74. |
39-11-1 |
Do you remember, dear Mother, the attractive little book you made for me three
months before my First Communion? It aided me in preparing my heart through a
sustained and thorough method. Although I had already prepared it for a long
time, my heart needed a new thrust; it had to be filled with fresh flowers so
that Jesus could rest there with pleasure. Every day
I made a large number of
fervent acts which made up so many flowers, and I offered up an even greater
number of aspirations which you had written in my little book for every day,
and these acts of love formed flower buds. You used to write me a nice little letter each week and this filled my soul with deep thoughts and aided me in the practice of virtue…. |
42-11-1 (Works, Actions, Great Actions) |
| 11 | GCI 180, Jan. 1884, (?), LC 19: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-2 |
…Oh! how happy the Child Jesus must be when His little Therese places on
His crib the perfumed harvest of her efforts and her little acts of love!…
How beautiful must His smile be! And how His little arms must press
the dear
bouquet of virtues and the little flower girl also gently to His Heart. You see, dear Therese, there are so many bad people who make the Child Jesus' tears flow immediately… there are so many, so many! That you must console Him a little and dry our Jesus' little tears as much as possible! |
2-11-3 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 7-11-2 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 14-11-4 (The Little Way), 50-11-1 (Jesus's Wounds, Pains and Tears) |
| 11 | GCI 186, Feb. 21(?), 1884, LC 22: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-3 |
I think you are always busily cultivating
the little garden of our heart….
You must, for in a few days the planting of the flowers will begin. Oh, Therese, just think! in hardly three months little Jesus will come to rest in your heart for the very first time! And who is this little Jesus? He is the same, yes, the same one whom the Blessed Virgin held in her arms, whom she wrapped in swaddling clothes, laid in the manger, and rocked on her knees! It is this little Child, so beautiful, so ravishing, who today makes up heaven's delights! It is He!… |
2-11-4 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials)
15-11-3 (Union with Jesus) |
| 11 | GCI 189, Feb. 29, 1844, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-4 | … the Eucharistic Jesus wants to find heaven in your child's heart. |
15-11-4 (Union with Jesus) |
| 11 | GCI 190, Mar. 1-6, 1884, LT 11: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-5 | Every day, I try to perform as many practices as I can, and I do all in my power not to let a single occasion pass by. I am saying at the bottom of my heart the little prayers which form the perfume of roses, as often as I can. |
2-11-6 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 5-11-2 (Prayer, Meditation, Contemplation), 7-11-4 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 14-11-6 (The Little Way) |
| 11 | GCI 191, Mar. 1-6, 1884, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-6 | …little Jesus be so pleased in my heart that He will not think of going back to heaven…. |
15-11-5 (Union with Jesus) |
| 11 | GCI 192, Mar. 6?, 1884, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-7 | …It is the little Host, the Heart of Jesus that is claiming an entrance into Theresita's heart. |
15-11-6 (Union with Jesus) |
| 11 | GCI 193, Mar. 14, 1884, LC26: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-8 | …Ask Him to accept me soon for His little Spouse and that I will love Him only. |
17-11-5 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 11 | GCI 196, Apr. 5(?), 1884, LC 28: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-9 | …Ah! for me, too, undoubtedly, this day will be a heavenly day, but to me who am a grown-up Jesus will give Himself as a grown-up, that is, I will not see Him in His crib, as you will, my darling, but the Cross, and not with roses but with the love of His thorns, not with His smile but with His tears…. You must, then, beg from your little Jesus the grace for me to love Him as a grown-up, to live and die in the shadow of His Cross, refusing Him no sacrifices. |
2-11-7 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 24-11-3 (Mercy of God, Graces) |
| 11 | GCI 197, Apr. 10 (?), 1884, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-10 | …He loves her more than the heavens, and the garden in bloom that she's preparing for Him will be more delightful than all heaven's gardens! … |
15-11-7 (Union with Jesus) |
| 11 | GCI 199, May 6, 1884, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-11 | …When I ask this beautiful Child who He is and why He is present in this white Host, I hear a voice, more melodious than all heaven's concerts, answering me: “I am Theresita's Jesus; I have just left heaven to visit the little flower garden she has been preparing for Me for three months. I have a great desire to walk in it and to take my rest in it. Theresita's heart is about to become my heaven; I prefer her heart to the throne of gold and precious stones destined for me up above I will never leave the pretty lily cradle where I'm going to sleep…. I'll remain there forever…as long as the lilies don't fade…for sin alone can make me leave it, and sin alone can fade the lilies of her heart!”. |
15-11-8 (Union with Jesus), 27-11-1 (Sinners, Sin) |
| 11 | GCI 200, May 6, 1884, LC 31: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-12 | …Let us think of nothing but Jesus! |
17-11-6 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 11 | GCI 211, Dec. (?), 1884, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-11-13 |
…
the prettiest crib must be in your heart.
Little Jesus loves to come
and rest there, and this not only for a certain time but forever.
A little heart, very innocent, very gentle, filled with good will and
the desire to please Him, oh! what a delightful home, what a pleasant
crib for Him!… Little darling, from now on place all your joy in goodness, in love for Jesus! Later on, you will see from the experience of all things that on earth we cannot be truly happy except with this. |
15-11-9 (Union with Jesus) |
| 12 | SS 88. |
39-12-1 | …It was Marie who guided, consoled, and aided me in the practice of virtue; she was my sole oracle, Pauline, no doubt, had remained well ahead in my heart, but Pauline was far, very far from me! I had suffered martyrdom getting accustomed to living without her, to seeing between me and her impassable walls. But finally I ended up by recognizing the sad reality: Pauline is lost to me, almost in the same manner as if she were dead. She always loved me, prayed for me, but in my eyes my dear Pauline had become a saint who was no longer able to understand the things of earth. And the miseries of her poor Therese, if she were aware of them, would only astonish her and prevent her from loving her Therese as much as she did. Besides, even when I would have desired to confide my thoughts to her as at Les Buissonnets, I could not have done so, for the visits at the Carmel were only for Marie. Celine and I had permission to come only at the end, just to have the time to break our heart. |
2-12-2 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 14 | SS 106. |
39-14-1 | I found only one soul to encourage me in my vocation, that of my dear Mother. My heart found a faithful echo in hers, and without her, perhaps, I would not have reached the blessed shore which received her five years before on its soil permeated with the heavenly dew. Yes, I was separated from you for five years, dear Mother, and I believed I'd lost you forever; at the moment of trials your hand pointed out the way I should follow…. |
2-14-5 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 14 | SS 118. |
39-14-2 | As soon as we arrived at Lisieux, I went looking for consolation at Carmel, and I found it in your presence, dear Mother. I shall never forget what you suffered on my account. Had I no fear of profaning them when making use of them, I could speak Jesus' words addressed to His apostles, the night of His Passion: “It is you who have been with me in all my trials.”(Luke 22:28) |
2-14-5 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 29-14-2 (Consolation) |
| 14 | SS 141. |
39-14-3 | O dear Mother, how wonderful it was to see you once again, to open up to you my poor, little, wounded soul. To you who understood it so well, and to whom a word, a look were sufficient to explain everything! I surrendered myself completely, I had done everything I could, even to speaking to the Holy Father, and I didn't know what I was still supposed to do. | |
| 14 | GCI 265, Jan., 1, 1887, LC 48: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-4 |
Happy Birthday! See how big you are. Courage! Jesus will soon pluck His
little flower, but
you must be patient and courageous and wait gently
for the passage of the divine Lamb. How I love you, my darling! Pray for your petit Pauline of former days. She must become a saint first since the choice fell on her first. |
6-14-1 (Perseverance, Patience, Forbearance, Endurance), 21-14-2 (A Saint) |
| 14 | GCI 284, Sep. (?), 1887, LC 52: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-4 | …Don't torment yourself with anything and for no reason. This does not please God, who loves to see the little hearts of His children always joyful. |
13-14-3 (Joyful Souls, Cheerfulness) |
| 14 | GCI 291 -292, Oct. 14, 1887, LC 54: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-6 | …Always be faithful to Him and fear nothing…. Oh! what a blessing for you to be only fifteen and to love Him alone, alone, without any sharing!… You are the little St. John of Jesus always leaning on His Heart; you listen only to Him, you want only Him. |
17-14-11 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 14 | GCI 310, Nov. 8, 1887, LD: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-7 | …In order to enter the House of the heavenly Spouse you must have some trials, you must knock several times, you must weep, knock and weep again. Then there will come a moment when the door will finally open, and what has opened the door if not desire, suffering, and love?. |
2-14-17 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 17-14-12 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 14 | GCI 312, Nov. 9, 1887, LC 57: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-8 | …Don't forget that He wept there often; very often; He wept there with love and with the desire to see all souls take flight towards Him, and He wept with sorrow when seeing so few would love Him in the future!. |
2-14-18 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 17-14-13 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 14 | GCI 346, Nov. 20, 1887, LC 64: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-9 | …Well, it's because little Jesus never sends anything but Crosses to his loved ones…. | 2-14-20 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 14 | GCI 353, Nov. 20, 1887, LT 36: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-10 |
…Oh!Pauline, if you could only have read my heart, you would have seen
there a great confidence…. …Oh! Pauline, I cannot tell you what I felt. I was crushed. I felt I was abandoned, and, then, I am so far, so far…. I was crying a lot when writing this letter; my heart is heavy. However, God cannot give me trials that are above my strength. He has given me the courage to bear this trial. Oh! it is very great…. But, Pauline, I am the Child Jesus' little ball; if He wishes to break His toy, He is free. Yes, I will all that He wills. |
2-14-22 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 4-14-8 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 16-14-6 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity) |
| 14 | GCI 358, Nov. 23, 1887, LC 66: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-11 | …I learned that My little ball was filled only with My love. I learned that it really wants to suffer for Me. I learned that it wants only Me…This kiss will be the seal of My Heart; no one will be able to break it, no one…. Oh!how happy I am! How I love My little ball! I can pierce it! I can do all I want with it and always it repeats:‘Jesus, I love You! Jesus, I love You! To rejoice, to suffer, to suffer again! All that You will, my dear little Jesus.’”. |
2-14-23 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, crosseses, Trials), 16-14-7 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 17-14-14 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 14 | GCI 358 -359, Nov. 23, 1887, LC 66: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-12 | …So young, at fifteen, He finds you already worthy to carry His Cross; He finds you worthy to suffer! What an honor for you! If you only knew what these trials do to advance an act of abandonment that you must make, that is God's will for you! |
4-14-9 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 16-14-8 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity) |
| 14 | GCI 369, Nov. 25, 1887, LC 69: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-14-14 | … Remember, my darling, that the desperate hours are always God's hours….You will really suffer during your life, your heart is especially made to suffer, but when Jesus is there, when it is He who is sending His little ball into the midst of thorns, the thorns will change into flowers…. Oh! how Jesus loves you, and do you know why I believe more than ever in His divine call? It is because you have suffered…. Without the Cross, one is sure of nothing; without the Cross, there is only the human element, the mundane; without the Cross, Jesus is not there. |
2-14-27 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 15 | GCI 397, Around Mar. 10, 1888, LC 75: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-1 | …, love the Cross, it is the blessed mast to which the sails of love are attached. |
2-15-4 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 15 | GCI 398, Around Mar. 10, 1888, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-2 | … Sanctity is the only beautiful thing on earth. Let us ask for it, let us work to acquire it, our eyes fixed upon the model: Jesus! |
16-15-1 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity) |
| 15 | GCI 400 -401, Mar. 18 (?), 1888, LT 43B to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-3 |
…Oh, Pauline, when Jesus will have placed me on the blessed shore of Carmel,
I want to give myself totally to Him, I want to live no longer but for Him. Oh,
no, I shall not fear His strikes, for, even
in the most bitter sufferings, I
always feel that it is His gentle hand that is striking. I really felt this at
Rome at the very moment when I would have believed the earth could have given
way beneath my steps. I desire only one thing when I shall be in Carmel, and it is to suffer always for Jesus. Life passes so quickly that really it must be better to have a very beautiful crown and a little trouble than to have an ordinary one without any trouble. And then for a suffering borne with joy, when I think that during the whole of eternity I will love God better. Then in suffering we can save souls. Ah! Pauline, if at the moment of my death I could have a soul to offer to Jesus, how happy I would be; it would be a soul that would have been snatched from the fire of hell and would bless God for all eternity. |
2-15-5 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 7-15-2 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 14-15-2 (The Little Way), 17-15-1 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 22-15-2 (Salvation of Souls), 23-15-1 (The Joy of Sufferings), 37-15-1 (Time) |
| 15 | GCI 402 -403, Mar. 18 -19, LC 76: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-4 | …I see that Jesus is teaching you Himself. Is it not said in the Imitation: “It is I who give understanding to little children, and he whom I instruct Myself makes rapid progress in virtue….”(III, 43:2) |
36-15-1 (The Director of Directors) |
| 15 | GCI 403, Mar. 18- 19, 1888, from Sr. Agnes of Jesus |
39-15-5 |
…Don't you see at last the mountain of Carmel. It is there, for intimacy
with Jesus
you will live hidden in His Heart…. Oh! yes,
HIDDEN! I desire
that Jesus' little toy be not admired by anyone in this world. If Jesus
wills to play with a grain of sand, He is free, the whole earth is His.
Why does He not always take the most beautiful souls for His spouses? Why,
instead of a grain of sand, does He not play with a diamond?
But Jesus
loves humility. Jesus loves what does not appear before the eyes of men,
what they trample underfoot, what they despise. Oh! humility, how beautiful
it is! Jesus loves it so much that He seeks for it everywhere on
the earth in order to make His heaven out of it. But it is rare. All
the beautiful, the truly beautiful is almost not to be found here below. I am sure that the little grain of sand understands me and that it will not ever wish to become a mountain, but, on the contrary, always little, lighter, in order to be lifted more easily by the breeze of love. |
3-15-2 (Silence, Hidden), 7-15-3 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 10-15-1 (Littleness), 12-15-1 (Humility, Humbleness), 16-15-3 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity) |
| 15 | SS 207. |
39-15-6 | … It is He who wants her to be a Saint! Oh, yes, a saint, a big saint and, at the same time, a little saint, so little and so humble that He can read always on her face and in her heart the words of the Blessed Virgin which she will have to say when entering: “I am the Handmaid of the Lord.” |
10-15-2 (Littleness)
12-15-2 (Humility, Humbleness), 21-15-1 (A Saint) |
| 15 | SS 207. |
39-15-6 | … It is He who wants her to be a Saint! Oh, yes, a saint, a big saint and, at the same time, a little saint, so little and so humble that He can read always on her face and in her heart the words of the Blessed Virgin which she will have to say when entering: “I am the Handmaid of the Lord.” |
10-15-2 (Littleness), 12-15-2 (Humility, Humbleness), 21-15-1 (A Saint) |
| 15 | GCI 408, Mar. 27, 1888, LC78: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-7 | …Let us not be frightened by the sorrows of this earth, for it is they that merit for us the joys of heaven! Let us welcome, then, suffering as a future joy. Life! It is so short; it's a point in space. “A thousand years are in the Lord's eyes just like yesterday which has passed!” (Psalm 90:4.) we sing in one of the Psalms. Let us raise our hearts and fight the good fight in order to carry off the victory and merit the crown. |
2-15-6 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 23-15-2 (The Joy of Sufferings), 37-15-2 (Time) |
| 15 | GCI 408, Mar. 27, 1888, LC 78: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-8 | …Let us love Jesus, who has loved us so much! Let the little fiancee have no fear of following her Beloved on the road to Calvary. She must learn that He is “a Spouse of blood” and that, to resemble Him and bear the name of Spouse worthily, she must always prove her love through suffering. |
2-15-7 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 17-15-2 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 15 | GCI 439, Jul. 3(?), 1888, LC 83: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-9 | Ah! blessed Eternity, it is worth suffering a little and even very much in order to attain it. |
2-15-11 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, crosses, Trials)
37-15-3 (Time) |
| 15 | GCI 442, Jul. 5 -9, 1888, LT 55: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-15-10 | Yes, I desire them, these agonies of the heart, these pinpricks about which the lamb speaks. What does it matter to the little reed if it bends? It is not afraid of breaking, for it has been planted at the edge of the waters, and, instead of touching the ground when it bends, it encounters only a beneficent wave which strengthens it and makes it want another storm to come and pass over its frail head. Its weakness gives rise to all its confidence. It cannot break since, no matter what happens to it, it wants only to see the gentle hand of its Jesus…. |
2-15-12 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 4-15-1 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 8-15-2 (Weakness, Frailty) |
| 16 | GCI 499 -500, Jan .6, 1889, LT 74: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-1 | …He is riddling me with pinpricks; the poor little ball is exhausted. All over it has very little holes which make it suffer more than if it has only one large one!… Nothing near Jesus. Aridity!… Sleep!… But at least there is silence!… Silence does good to the soul…. But creatures!Oh! creatures!… The little ball shudders from them!… Understand Jesus' little toy!… When it is the sweet Friend who punctures His ball Himself, suffering is only sweetness, His hand is so gentle!… But creatures!…Those who surround me are very good, but there is something, I don't know what, that repels me!… I cannot give you any explanation. Understand your little soul. I am, however, very happy, happy to suffer what Jesus wants me to suffer. If He doesn't directly puncture His little ball, it is really He who directs the hand that punctures it!… |
2-16-10 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 3-16-2 (Silence, Hidden), 23-16-4 (The Joy of Sufferings) |
| 16 | GCI 500, Jan. 6, 1889, LT74: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-2 |
If you only knew how much I want to be indifferent to
the things of this earth. What do all created beauties mean
to me, I would be unhappy possessing them, my heart would
be so empty!… It is incredible how big my heart appears to
me when I consider all earth's treasures. But when I consider
Jesus, how little it appears to me!!
I would so much like
to love Him!… Love Him more than He has ever been loved!…
My only desire is to do the will of Jesus always! To dry away
the little tears that sinners make Him shed…. Oh! I do not
WANT Jesus to have any sorrow. On the day of my espousals,
I would like to convert all the sinners of this earth and
to save all the souls in purgatory!… The Lamb of Jesus is going to laugh when it sees this desire of the little grain of sand!… I know that it's folly, but, nevertheless, I would like it to be this way so that Jesus have not one single tear to shed. |
7-16-4 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 14-16-4 (The Little Way), 16-16-2 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 17-16-1 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 22-16-1 (Salvation of Souls), 27-16-1 (Sinners, Sins), 50-16-1 (Jesus's Wounds, Pains and Tears) |
| 16 | GCI 504, Jan. 7, 1889, LT 76: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-3 |
How good He is to me, He who will soon be my Fiancee; how
divinely lovable He is when not wanting to allow me
to attach myself to ANY created thing.
He knows well that
if He were to give me a shadow of HAPPINESS, I would attach
myself to it with all my energy, all the strength of my heart,
and this shadow He is refusing me; He prefers leaving me in
darkness to giving me a false light which would not be
Himself!… Since I can't find any creature that contents me,
I want to give all to Jesus, and I don't want to give to
the creature even one atom of my love. My Jesus always makes
me understand that He alone is perfect joy, when He appears
to be absent!… Today more than yesterday, if that were possible, I was deprived of all consolations. I thank Jesus, who finds this good for my soul, and that, perhaps if He were to console me, I would stop at this sweetness; but He wants that all be for Himself!… Well, then, all will be for Him, all, even when I feel I am able to offer nothing; so, just like this evening, I will give Him this nothing! Although Jesus is giving no consolation, He is giving me a peace so great that it is doing me more good!… |
7-16-5 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 11-16-2 (Nothingness), 17-16-2 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 28-16-1 (Peace), 29-16-2 (Consolation), 43-16-1 (Darkness) |
| 16 | GCI 504, Jan.7, 1889, LT 76: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-4 | And Father's letter? I find it heavenly, and my heart finds many beautiful things in it, but joy?… Oh, no! no joy…. joy is to be found only in suffering and in suffering without any consolation!… |
2-16-12 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 23-16-5 (The Joy of Sufferings), 29-16-3 (Consolation) |
| 16 | GCI 511, Jan. 8, 1889, LT 78: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-5 |
…The lamb is mistaken in believing that Jesus' toy is not in
darkness! it
is immersed in darkness. Perhaps, and the little lamb agrees with this, this
darkness is light, but in spite of everything it is darkness….
Its only
consolation is a strength and a very great
peace, and, then, it wants to be
as Jesus wills it to be; that is its joy,
otherwise, all is sadness…. If you only knew how great my joy is not to have anything with which to please Jesus!… It is a refined joy (but in no way felt). |
2-16-14 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 16-16-4 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity), 23-16-6 (The Joy of Suffering), 28-16-2 (Peace), 29-16-4 (Consolation), 41-16-1 (Unfelt Love), 43-16-2 (Darkness) |
| 16 | GCI 579, Jul.? or Aug.?, 1889, LT 95: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-6 | …Dear lamb, how good it is to work for Jesus alone, for Him ALONE!… Oh, then, how full the heart is, how light one feels…. Little Belloni of Jesus, pray for the poor little grain of sand, that the grain of sand be always in its place, that is to say, under the feet of all, that no one may think of it, that its existence be, so to speak, unknown. The grain of sand does not desire to be humbled; this is still too glorious since one would be obliged to be occupied with it. It desires only one thing, to be FORGOTTEN, counted for nothing!… |
2-16-29 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 7-16-12 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 11-16-4 (Nothingness), 12-16-2 (Humility, Humbleness) |
| 16 | GCI 580, Jul.? or Aug.? 1889, LT 95: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-16-7 |
The grain of sand wants
at all costs to save souls…. Jesus must grant
it this grace. Little Veronica, ask this grace from the luminous Face of
Jesus!… Yes, the Face of Jesus is luminous, but if in the midst of
wounds and tears it is already so beautiful, what will it be, then when
we shall see it in heaven? Oh, heaven…
heaven. Yes, to see one day the Face of Jesus, to contemplate eternally
the marvelous beauty of Jesus, the poor grain of sand desires to be despised
on earth!… Dear lamb, beg Jesus that His grain of sand hurry to save many souls in a short time in order to take its flight promptly towards His dear Face!… I am suffering!… But the hope of the homeland gives me courage, soon we shall be in heaven!… In heaven, there will no longer be day or night, but the Face of Jesus will make an incomparable light shine!… Dear lamb, understand the grain of sand; it does not know what it is saying this evening, but certainly it has no intention of writing one single word of all it has scribbled…. |
2-16-30 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 22-16-6 (Salvation of Souls), 24-16-5 (Mercy of God, Graces) |
| 17 | GCI 612, May 4, 1890, LT 103: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-1 | …Oh! how it longs to be reduced to nothing, to be unknown by all creatures. Poor little thing, it desires nothing any longer, nothing but to be FORGOTTEN… not contempt, insults, this would be too glorious for a grain of sand. Were one to despise it, one would have to see it, But to be FORGOTTEN!… Yes, I want to be forgotten, and this, not only by creatures but by myself. I'd like to be reduced to nothing to such an extent as to have no desire whatsoever…. The glory of Jesus, that is all;… |
2-17-4 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 3-17-2 (Silence, Hidden), 7-17-1 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 11-17-1 (Nothingness), 14-17-2 (The Little Way), 25-17-1 (Glory) |
| 17 | GCI 614, May 3, 1890, LC 127: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-2 | …Ah! let us both remember that on earth there can be only suffering for those who love and seek with ardor the gentle, suffering Face of Jesus…. Let us not be so cowardly as to desire consolations with such a love in our heart!… |
2-17-5 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 29-17-2 (Consolation) |
| 17 | GCI 615. May 5-6, 1890, LT 104: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. (Frag- ments.) |
39-17-3 |
It doesn't surprise me that you are having no consolation, for Jesus is
so little consoled that He is happy when He finds a soul in whom He may
take His rest without a lot of ceremony…. How proud I am to be your sister! And your little daughter, too, for it's you who taught me to love Jesus, to seek Him only …and to despise all creatures…. |
17-17-2 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 29-17-3 (Consolation) |
| 17 | GCI 620, May 10, 1890, LT 106: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-4 |
…How happy I am to be always a prisoner in Carmel; I have no desire
to go to Lourdes to have ecstasies. I prefer (the monotony of sacrifice)!
What a joy to be so hidden that
nobody thinks of you!… To be unknown
even to persons with whom you live…. Silence, this is the language that alone can tell you what is happening in my soul!… |
2-17-7 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 3-17-3 (Silence, Hidden), 7-17-3 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 14-17-3 (The Little Way), 23-17-2 (The Joy of Sufferings) |
| 17 | GCI 662. Sep. 3, 1890, LT 114: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-5 | …He must look only at love. Ask Him to give me very much love too. I'm not asking for perceptible love, but a love felt only by Jesus. Oh! to love Him and make Him loved, how sweet this is!… |
17-17-7 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 41-17-1 (Unfelt Love) |
| 17 | GCI 665, Sep. 3, 1890, LC 137: from Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-6 | …He isn't giving you any consolation because you are in His arms, and you are not walking, He is carrying you…. Does the child in its Father's arms need any other consolation?… and so I can picture Jesus carrying His little grain of sand, and, burdened with this light load, He is running in search of souls…. The little grain of sand stirs, it leaps when it sees some poor wounded lambs hidden in the bushes…. And Jesus is pleased with its desires. He saves the poor sinners with the help of His little grain of sand…. |
4-17-2 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 22-17-3 (Salvation of Souls), 27-17-1 (Sinners), 29-17-6 (Consolation) |
| 17 | GCI 667, Sep. 4, 1890, LT 115: to Sr. Agnes of Jesus. |
39-17-7 |
…
My soul is always in the subterranean passage, but it is very happy,
yes, happy to have no consolation whatsoever, for I find that then
its love is not like the love of earthly fiancees who are always
looking at the hands of their fiances to see if they have brought
them any gifts, or else at their faces to catch there a smile of
love which delights them… But the poor little fiancee of Jesus feels that she loves Jesus for Himself alone, and she wants to look at her Beloved's face only to catch there the tears which flow from His eyes which have delighted her by their hidden charms!… |
17-17-8 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 23-17-3 (The Joy of Sufferings), 29-17-7 (Consolation) |
| 21 | GCII 838- 839, Jan. 21, 1894, LT 156: to Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-21-1 | Soon, He sees in the distance strange objects bearing no resemblance to the springtime flowers. A cross!… a lance!… a crown of thorns! And yet the divine Child does not tremble; this is what He chooses to show His spouse how much He loves her!… But it is still not enough; His infant face is so beautiful. He sees it disfigured, covered with blood!… unrecognizable!… Jesus knows that His spouse will always recognize Him, that she will be at His side when all others abandon Him, so the divine Child smiles at this bloodstained image, He smiles at the chalice filled with the wine giving birth to virgins. He knows that, in His Eucharist, the ungrateful will desert Him; but Jesus is thinking of His spouse's love, her attention. He sees the flowers of her virtues as they scent the sanctuary, and the Child Jesus continues to sleep on peacefully… He awaits the shadows to lengthen… the night of life to give way to the bright day of eternity!…. |
2-21-1 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 17-21-1 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 37-21-1 (Time) |
| 22 | SS 174. |
39-22-1 | … O Mother, among these ripe sheaves is hidden the little white flower; however, in heaven she will have a voice with which to sing of your gentleness and your virtues which she sees you practice every day in the darkness and the silence of life's exile! |
3-22-1 (Silence, Hidden), 43-22-1 (Darkness) |
| 23 | GCII 1030, Dec. 4, 1896, LT 203: to Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-23-1 | Little Mother is altogether too darling! … If she does not know what she is, I myself know it well and I LOVE her! … Oh, yes! but how pure my affection is!… It is that of a child who admires the humility of its Mother. You do me more good than all the books in the world!… |
12-23-1 (Humility, Humbleness), 17-23-14 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity), 35-23-2 (Books) |
| 24 | GCII 1046, Jan. 9, 1897, LT 216: to Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-24-1 | I would have liked not to have seen little Mother's tears flowing, but what I was happy to see was the good effect they produced, it was like magic. Ah! I am not vexed at anyone when my little Mother is scowled at, for I see only too well that the Sisters are merely instruments placed in the way by Jesus Himself so that little Mother's way (in little Therese's eyes) resembles the one He has chosen for Himself when He was a traveler on the earth of exile…. Then His face was as though hidden, no one recognized Him, He was an object of contempt…. Little Mother is not an object of contempt, but very few recognize her because Jesus has hidden her face!… |
3-24-1 (Silence, Hidden) |
| 24 | GCII 1100, May 28, 1897, LT 230: to Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-24-2 | Dear little Mother, Your little girl has again shed sweet tears just now, tears of repentance but more so of gratitude and love….Ah! this evening I showed my virtue, my TREASURES of patience!…. And I who preach so well to others!!!!!!!!!! I am happy you saw my imperfection…. |
6-24-2 (Perseverance, Patience), 34-24-1 (Repentance, Contrition) |
| 24 | LC 48, From May 21 to 26. |
39-24-3 | 11. “I was a little sad this morning, wondering whether God was really pleased with me. I was thinking of what each Sister would say about me, if she were questioned. One would say: ‘She is a good little soul.’ Another: ‘She is very gentle, very pious, but…’ And still other would have different ideas; several would find me very imperfect, which is true…. As for my little Mother, she love me so much that this blinds her, and so I can't believe her. Oh! what God thinks, who will tell me? I was in these reflections when your little note reached me. You were telling me that everything in me pleased you, that I was especially loved by God, that He had not made me, as He did others, climb the rough ladder of perfection, but that he had placed me in an elevator so that I might be brought to Him more speedily. Already, I was much touched, but always the thought that your love made you see what wasn't there hindered me from rejoicing fully. Then I took my little Gospels, asking God to console me, to answer me Himself, and my glance fell upon this passage which I'd never noticed before: ‘For he whom God sent speaks the words of God, for not by measure does God give the Spirit.’(John 3:34) Oh! then I shed tears of joy, and this morning, when awakening, I was still filled with joy. It is you, little Mother, whom God has sent for me; it is you who brought me up, who had me enter Carmel. All the great graces for my life I have received through you. You speak the same words as God, and now I believe that God is very much content with me since you have said so.” |
24-24-14 (Mercy of God, Graces), 32-24-1 (Uncertainty of her Faith) |
| 24 | LC 258, Aug., from a note of Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-24-4 |
“I've suffered from the cold
in Carmel even to the point
of dying from it.” I was astonished to hear her speak in this way, because in the winter time her conduct revealed nothing of her suffering. Not even in the coldest weather did I see her rub her hands together or walk more rapidly or bend over more than was her usual habit, as all of us do naturally when we are cold. |
2-24-53 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 24 | LC 258, Aug., from a note of Mother Agnes of Jesus. |
39-24-5 |
During
this phase of her
sickness, how many times must her patience
have caused God to smile! What sufferings she had
to endure! She
sighed many times like a poor little lamb about to be immolated. She told
me: “Watch carefully, Mother, when you will have patients a prey to violent pains; don't leave near them any medicines that are poisonous. I assure you, it needs only a second when one suffers intensely to lose one's reason. Then one would easily poison oneself.” |
2-24-54 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials) |
| 24 | LC 280, Jul. 16, from a note of Mo- ther Agnes of Jesus. |
39-24-6 | A Sister said to her recently: “You haven't the least bit of fear for death, and still death is a terrifying thing.” She answered: “Yes, it frightens me very much when I see it represented in pictures as some huge spectre, but death isn't this. This idea is foolish, it's not true, and all I have to do to chase it away is recall the answer in my catechism: death is the separation of the soul from the body. That's what is! Well, I haven't any fear of a separation which will reunite me forever with God.” |
15-24-10 (Union with Jesus) |